dead to me

I think I've mentioned before how when a relationship ends, I usually pretend that the guy is dead. No longer in existence. Never to be seen or heard from again. This is considerably more difficult when I've made the (poor) decision to date men I worked with. It's not as easy to pretend a man is dead when you have to see him every single day. But my dating scars take a really long time to heal, and it's usually better if I don't know anything about them. And even after the passage of much time, I don't usually want to ever see them or know what they are doing. Say what you will, there is no medal given to the woman who is friends with the most exs.

In the last week, I found out through very random ways that three guys I've dated in the last couple years have gotten married this spring. And then tonight, I had a run-in with the ex that I was most screwed up over, and it was nice. I saw him across the restaurant and went up and said a quick hi. We talked for a few minutes, and then I left. It was a nothing. I called my sis to tell her about it, and in an effort of full disclosure, she told me she found out that the most recent ex was going to be running a race I'm also running in a couple weeks. And I don't care.

All of this would normally send me into a tailspin. I'm pretty happy that it didn't this time around. Maybe it's all those endorphins from the running. At any rate, they clearly are not dead, but I don't even need to wish that they were. Progress, I think.