welcome, indeed

The Tuesday of opening workshop week around St. Kate's is known as "Sister Andrea's Day." Sister Andrea, President of SCU, always plans something over-the-top to welcome faculty and staff back for a new academic year. All offices are closed, and everyone attends the morning celebration. In the past, there has been video, bands, light shows, comedy, dancing, singing, you name it. I think there was a fog machine one year.

In the afternoon, there are follow-up talks by the VP and Deans of Students and such, all helping flesh out the mission and vision that Sister Andrea creatively charges the faculty and staff with in the morning.

No one ever knows what is going to happen except for Sister Andrea and the very, very elite few she entrusts with planning with her.

This year, the schedule said that the President's Address was from 9-12 and from 1-4. Six hours of the President. Sitting in O'Shaughnessy. There isn't a lot that can keep me from getting antsy or sleepy in an auditorium for 6 hours. I had been told that the opening celebration was amazing and so unique to St. Kate's, so I kept an open mind.

Boy, were we in for a surprise.

The opening was a lot of rah-rah look what we accomplished last year, and yay-yay here's where we're headed. Sister Andrea talked about "the Year of the Liberal Arts," the focus for this academic year. She had chosen two patron saints for us for the year, and described them a bit (a Cuban priest that I've forgotten his name already, and Lillian Gilbreth). She ended her talk with the strategic plan for SCU, which includes a lot about our visibility and perceptions of SCU. And as much as people hate the term, the branding of St. Kate's. That in a way, we're a business that needs to make sure that we're putting out a vision that we are proud of, and that the way SCU is perceived is how we want to be perceived. That a lot of that has to do with marketing and advertising. It was interesting, but pretty low-key.

And then she went on to say that we were going to get started today, and sent us all to the MN State Fair for the day. In our bright purple St. Kate's t-shirts and hats. To eat, and laugh, and mingle, and advertise. And have fun as a St. Kate's community in the wider community.

Everyone was shocked. We climbed aboard big buses and received an envelope with an entrance ticket, $10 in food vouchers, and a map. We headed to the fair and were let loose. We chatted with tons of people - lots who had gone to St. Kate's, and a few that were considering it. With five hundred of us - yes, that was 500 faculty and staff members, everywhere we turned, we could see a group in purple. It was so much fun.

Here's to a great year.

three Kelly PhDs

How awesome is that?!?

Alternatively: How much money was that?!?

peaceful awakening

It was so nice to wake up this morning and not immediately tighten with the anxiety and pressure of my dissertation. Yesterday was the craziest of days, but such a relief to be done.

I was so flattered to have so many folks come to hear my talk. It was such a glorious day, and the start of the state fair. To have them come inside to hear a talk before the school year even has started was really great.

It was great to have the chance to actually talk about my study in a sustained way with people who really understand what I was trying to do. This process was so solitary, I had no idea what anyone thought of my study or my dissertation. It was nice to have my work validated.

It hasn't quite sunk in, but it sure was great to go to a meeting this morning and be able to tell my new work colleagues that I passed and was done.

And now to pack in a summer's worth of fun into two days. Let's see what fun I can have!

big deal day

Today will go down as a really big day in my life.

I successfully completed a doctoral program, passed my dissertation defense, and earned my PhD.

More tomorrow...

in defense of my work

It all comes down to a few hours tomorrow. The fate of my graduate career, the last five years of blood, sweat, and tears (not a ton of blood but a little at least, and more than enough sweat and tears), is in the hands of four people. Twenty-five years as a student has lead me here. And four people will vote on if I get my PhD or not.

I have worked ridiculously hard to get here. I'm really excited for tomorrow. And I'd be lying if I said I wasn't nervous. However, I believe in my work, and I can defend my insights. And that's all I can do.

Here we go.

inspiration

Yesterday, I learned more about the mission and vision of my new workplace, as well as what it means to be a women's college at the heart and a university grounded in the liberal arts and infused with the Catholic identity.

I learned that SCU:

- is the largest women's college/university in the country

- has the highest percentage of racially/ethnically diverse students of any private college in the state

- was the first Catholic institution recognized by Phi Beta Kappa

I have to admit that there were aspects to being a Catholic institution that scared me a little. Though raised a Catholic, I've been a bit lapsed lately. In between stress about grad school and the job search, I've struggle with my anger at the church in so many ways. However, I think that if the Catholic church had listened to Sister Amata Miller, IHM, PhD today talk about what it meant to be Catholic as it pertains to higher education, the church might not have people leaving in droves. Seriously, after listening to her, I was inspired enough to consider attending mass again at the university. Who can argue with the core principles of human dignity, of caring for dear neighbors without distinction, of reaching out to the poor and marginalized, of commitment to faith AND reason, of the dignity of work - all work, of the rights AND responsibilities of justice, of deep connection to community. And where her description differed from the opinion of many in the church: welcoming of all people - no matter what.

Sister Amata may have been a bit deceiving in looks, at 70+ years of age, but she was awesome. Back in the day, straight out of the noviciate (I think this means novice nun), she went to Berkeley to get her PhD in economics. Imagine being a Catholic nun trying to get a PhD in economics in the '60s at uber-liberal Berkeley. Having to defend her faith as well as her place as an intellectual peer at every turn in a degree program dominated by men. Awesome.

I am loving that I get to work in a place that inspires me this much.

I know that it will at times be frustrating and stressful, but don't burst my happy bubble yet.

let's get it started

I'm an assistant professor.

This has been a very weird adjustment to make. I'm having a little trouble getting used to this new identity. As friends joke, I just need leather patches on my tweed jacket and a pipe and I'll be all set.

Though I've had some meetings and work, today begins new faculty workshops, the real start to my new position. I'm excited and nervous and ultimately really ready for a new adventure. Even if I feel like throwing up.

kicking the habit

I have this recurring dream that tends to come back around when I'm particularly stressed. Unlike most people, my stress dreams do not involve school. Well, I have one where I show up late to Spanish and the teacher throws a desk at me, but that actually happened to someone in my high school graduating class, so it's more like PTSD than the usual forgot my locker combo or schedule or can't find my class dreams that most people have.

Anyway, in my stress dream, I have taken up smoking. I start with buying one pack, hide the habit from friends and family, and mostly just smoke in my car. In the dream, every inhale soothes and calms me, and a relief washes over me immediately upon lighting up.

This dream has been so vivid in times past that I've actually checked my glove compartment to make sure there aren't any cigarettes there.

I have never been a smoker. I took one puff in college and promptly threw up for the next two hours. Second-hand smoke burns my eyes, makes my throat hurt, and gives me a headache. I have never wanted to be a smoker and will never become one. Which is why I hate this dream. I would love something easy like that to be able to do to de-stress, and clearly that is what my mind and body want too.

But I'll stick with deep, clean breaths instead.

friday book review: city dog, country frog

Willems, M. (2010). City dog, country frog. New York: Hyperion.

Really, this picture book should be credited to the illustrator: Jon Muth, best known for Zen Shorts. The watercolor illustrations are just beautiful and add to the charm of this picture book. And I do love Mo Willems and everything he's written. Naked Mole Rat Gets Dressed is my current fave.

The delightful book is the story of an unlikely friendship over the course of a year. The theme of friendship is simple and clear, though the end (loss and heartbreak) may be lost on the youngest of readers. However, it is certain to be enjoyed by readers of all ages, and ends in a touching way.

Definitely a keeper for my shelves.

office

I'm all official:




This is my office. It looks a little barren, but I think it will be a great place to work. The curtains I made from fabric bought at Mood. I didn't want to cut the fabric, just in case I don't stay in the office or I find something else I'd rather do with it, so the curtain is more like a simple block of fabric, but I think it adds a little brightness to the sterile white.




The view from my desk. Note Yo-Yo Ma with Goodnight Moon:





Book shelves! Left side is for professional resources, right side houses children's and YA books.




In my very first classroom as a teacher, I had a parent who made the storycloth below. I've always hung it in my classroom, but have always wanted it framed. I splurged this spring as a present to myself for getting the job, and it hangs in my office. I love it. It is the only thing I love about my first job, but it's a good thing to love.




This was a fantastic aspect to the office - a big storage closet. Big enough for file cabinets and then some. It will one day be the home of a coffee maker, and possibly a mini-fridge. Too many expenses this summer and no paychecks coming in, so I'll have to wait on that until I start making a salary.



I'm still not exactly sure what to do with this funny little storage closet. The shelves are built in, and not tall enough to house books standing up. I have no idea what the original intent for this space was, but I need to figure out the best way to maximize the space.




So that's it. Let the work begin!

orientation

I had HR orientation today. Harassment policies, benefits, email system. It was as exciting as you might imagine. My favorite part was the ridiculous video on harassment. Surprisingly, you can't offer someone a promotion in exchange for sex.

The good news from today is that the time in IT training allowed me to figure out how to sync my new email on my phone. The bad news from today is that none of my current doctors ( i.e. my therapist or dentist or physical therapist) are in-network with my new plan. That really sucks.

One thing I did learn was that the building my office is in was built because a feisty sister didn't want Prior Ave to run through campus. The solution - build a building directly in the way. Way to go, Sister Antonia McHugh!

eat pray whine

I was among the 6 people out of the 4.5 million (give or take) that did not enjoy the memoir Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert. There. It's out in the open.

The book had no chance after she started referring to her "friend depression." No one who has suffered from depression would ever refer to it as a friend, not even in an ironic way. Depression makes it physically hurt to get out of bed, sucks the joy out of everything in life even what you usually love, makes eating such a chore that isn't always worth the effort. I suppose not everyone's experience is the same, but there is a difference between depression and the blues. And if you haven't had depression, you have no idea. And if the author had actually suffered from depression, there is no way she could have traveled a year in new places.

That aside, I didn't find her "depression" about her failed marriage believable. It seemed as though she was much more devastated that her image was tarnished, not because she hurt someone or that her marriage was over.

And then there was the whole premise: that she would spend a year of self-discovery. The real work of self-discovery is trying to live real life in a new way. I suppose self-discovery can begin in an escape, but a year eating pasta and doing yoga is not real life. Not even for lucky Liz Gilbert. And all she ended up finding was a man. Which I actually believe was the ultimate goal anyway, despite her constant protestations.

Obviously in the minority, I know plenty of people who would argue with all of these points. That the book is an authentic and beautiful and emotional account of a search for a new identity. I respect their opinions, but hold fast to my own on this one.

I do like Julia Roberts, and a good friend really wanted to go to the movie. She had loved the book, and knew I had read it. To be fair, the movie did not bug me to the same degree as the book. But I won't see it again. I was biased going in, but tried to keep an open mind. It was too long, and none of the relationships were well-developed. I didn't come to care about anyone, not even the main character. And though it was less offensive to me, I admit that some of what made the book work (for others) was missing in the movie. I guess because it seemed more like a "movie" than someone's memoir.

Anyway, I think some who loved the book will hate the movie, and others will think it's a tolerable escape.

and for the record...

... I know I should not have printed all those copies. I will likely get a nasty email about wasted toner or something. But I'm almost done and I don't think anyone could actually do anything serious about it. And I just don't have $150 for the printing shop. Ok, I do. I'm just saving for a rockin' party in two weeks.

My sister said her adviser paid for her to copy her dissertation, but since mine can't be bothered to email me back about the final edits to my dissertation and I have to send it out without her final green light, I didn't think she'd offer.

I'm sorry, office and officemates, for wasting toner.

pressing send

The dissertation is done.

Five years and 350 pages later, a headache the size of Brazil, and exhaustion-induced nausea, I emailed it off to my committee late last night. It took 2 hours this morning to print 5 copies of the darn thing for myself and my committee members, and if the printer didn't weigh 300 pounds, I likely would have thrown it across the room for jamming every 6 pages it printed. No matter, it's all done now.

Gearing up to getting my syllabi together this weekend to post to the web by Monday's deadline.

But first I need a nap.

I'll sleep when I'm dead, I guess

I'm really tired. Tired of staying up late and working day and night on this stupid paper. Seriously, I never want to see it again. After the 26th. Well, that's not true. I need it to get me a couple presentations and publications so I can keep my job. But a lot of it doesn't even feel like mine, as I'm making the revisions and edits my adviser wants.

I recognize the irony in complaining about having to make the revisions I so desperately pleaded for over the last two months. Is that irony? No, it's something else, but I have no brain power left and I can't think of what it is.

There's just so much to do. And only three more days to do it all. Oh, and my syllabi for the fall are due in a week. And we're saying final good-byes to a friend moving to Greece. And after I get this diss written, I still have to develop my presentation for my defense.

Ok, one thing at a time. I always get things done. I'm sure I'll survive this too.

Looks like some all- or near all-nighters are in my near future. And probably not much blogging. See you on the flip side.

friday book review: the hunger games

Collins, S. (2008). The Hunger Games. New York: Scholastic.

Wow. This book was horrifying and engaging and raw and violent and suspenseful.

And I get to teach it in one of my classes.

A post-apocalyptic novel set on the ruins of what was once the US, life is now bleak. There is fairly rigid caste system, and most of society works very hard and is still deeply poor.

The main character (one of the poor ones), sixteen-year-old Katniss Everdeen, is a competitor in the Hunger Games, a yearly ritual to remind the members of society what happens when you revolt against the Capitol.

The twenty-four chosen tributes, aged 12-18, fight to the death until one is left standing, with the entire society watching on TV, Olympics-style. The arena is different every year, and the competitors don't know what they're in for until they are released into the landscape of the arena. And as much as you despise what is happening, you can't stop watching. Or reading, as the case is.

Lord of the Flies meets The Road meets The Goblet of Fire. And a little love story thrown in for good measure.

I can't wait to talk about it with my students. And read the rest of the trilogy. And see the author at Wild Rumpus this fall. So much to look forward to.

new digs

I got to move into my new office this week. It's been fun to set it up. Almost as fun as it was setting up my middle school classroom at the start of a new school year. Almost.

It's nice having a place to hang my diplomas (with one more soon to come, I hope) and my Yo-Yo Ma reading Goodnight Moon READ poster. I've been sitting on some fun fabric from a trip to NYC and Mood Fabrics (of Project Runway fame), and decided to make a curtain for my office window with it. And now that I have a roommate, it's nice to get all the books out of my house that used to be in my office but have been in a dozen crates strewn around my dining room for the last week or so.

I think it will be a good place to work.

target angst

I have a serious dilemma over this whole Target debacle. I've always felt good about shopping there - local business, community-minded, GLBT-friendly, green initiatives. And so, so much better than the alternatives.

And now with this whole corporate Tom Emmer donation crap, I don't think I can shop there any more. I heard someone on NPR saying that where you shop IS your political vote these days, and I just can't support a corporation that supports a candidate that is so far the opposite extreme from my political views. And I just can't understand it, since it goes against pretty much everything Target stands for too. Except for the damn tax cuts for businesses.

I've usually been a twice-a-weeker at Target. I haven't been since the announcement. I miss my Target, but if my shopping is my vote, I can't vote for Emmer.

100th post

I noticed yesterday that I had published 99 posts so far this year. Little kids count the first hundred days of school and have a big celebration when they get to the big 1-0-0. To mark the occasion, I compiled some important things about 100.

In the year 100:
Bricks became the primary building material in the Roman Empire.
Teotihuacan reaches the population 50,000.
The wheelbarrow is invented in China.
The Gospel of John is written.

Other fun 100s:
100 is the sum of the first 9 prime numbers.
There are 100 US Senators.
A Scrabble game has 100 tiles.
Once a tv show hits 100 episodes, it is generally considered viable for syndication.
Wilt Chamberlain scored 100 points in an NBA game on March 2, 1962. All by himself.

So there you go. Lots of fun with the number 100. Certainly, I do not equate my hundred posts with the Gospel of John or the wheelbarrow or that crazy game with Wilt the Stilt.

But it's close.

my adviser's back, and I'm gonna be in trouble

Adviser is back as of yesterday (theoretically, that is. I don't know whether all went according to plan). I thought about sitting outside her house with a copy of my revised draft and a thermos of coffee, waiting for her to get back. "Here you go. I'll wait."

I didn't think that'd go over well, so I decided just to email it to her.

The threat of identity theft last week left me a bit distracted, and I'm not thrilled with the outcome of this latest draft. I feel like chapters 1-5 (the ones I got feedback on) are in really good shape. Chapters 6-7 are passable (which, really, is all that matters at this point. Passing). Chapter 8 is a disaster. It is also probably the most important chapter. So that's not good. Granted, I only got feedback on 5 chapters, so I guess I'm ahead of the game?? Maybe not.

Please, let her pull through for me this week. Please.

At least I got 6.5 hours of sleep last night. Feel like a new woman and ready to deal with whatever (if anything) she throws my way.