polar vortex

Because of the polar vortex that has lived over the midwest the last three days, campus was closed and classes canceled yesterday and today. It meant I had to figure out how to hold a 3.5 hour class online with students who were not prepared for an online class. So, I couldn't guarantee they would all be able to access a new technology to meet synchronously and yet had to figure out how to accomplish the necessary objectives for the class. With only 4 weeks of class and a total of 8 meetings, I needed this one.

So I ended up creating some crappy videos in my dining room I uploaded to YouTube for students to watch, and narrated a lecture. It wasn't ideal, but it was all I could do in the short notice. Students seem to have managed ok, and I was thankful not to have to deal with whining about the cold if they were forced to come to class. I guess I'll see how it went in class tomorrow.

Here's to J-term!

sunshine and rain

Just when I needed a good moment of teaching, I walked into my young adult lit class and a student said, "We all agreed that this course needs to be a full-semester course. We aren't ready to be done with this class, we've enjoyed it too much."

I needed that.

white knuckling it through the term

I feel as though I am racing all the time. I wake up and it is a race to get things done until I collapse into bed far later than I want and need to be getting into bed. Work is stressful, teaching 5 classes on top of student teacher supervision, the blog, the new position I have as a faculty-in-the-field at an elementary school. I am not able to provide the kind of feedback I'd like to on all my students' assignments, and sometimes my classes have been less than inspired. I know that I also make decisions that add to my stress, like playing in Yeoman this year, but that's something I'm actually enjoying and look forward to during the week.

But today I got through almost everything I needed to during the actual work day so I am going to take the evening off from work. If I'm going to have even a moderately decent half marathon on Sunday, I need to prioritize some sleep this week. I'm in no shape to race this well, but I definitely don't want to bonk because I didn't get enough sleep. Sleep, need sleep.

what doesn't kill you

I can't say there's much to report from my neck of the woods. Running, violin, reading, teaching. That's about it.

The running club has been such a fun experiment, though. I feel stronger after only two weeks, though I'm trying to be careful not to overdo it. We did 9 miles in intervals tonight, and I was able to hang with some folks I don't think I had any business running with. The coach has it in his head that I could, within the year, run a 3:30 marathon. That's some crazy talk. I am hoping for a 3:45 at Grandmas. And that is pretty ambitious given my TCM disappointment. But, the workout tonight boosted my confidence a little. Time will tell.

My class of 3 students for Young Adult Lit is dreadful. Could not be less excited for that tomorrow night. I changed things up in terms of the plan for how class will go, and fingers crossed it's a little better. I can't spend another 3.5 hours of crickets. Well, it wasn't all crickets. They did talk when they complained about how terrible all the books they read for class were. Cuz, you know, award winning YA books are crap, of course. I'm all for bringing a critical eye to a text, but come on people. You can't find anything redeeming?

On the bright side, aside from the student who called in sick from class because she had eaten too much pizza the night before and hadn't slept well, my Children's Lit class is wonderful. Engaged students and thoughtful discussions. My online class is going fine as well, and my student teachers give me faith in the future.

And as for my resolutions, I'm doing great with 2, 3, and 5. Only made it to the St. Kate's library once, and haven't gone on a date in 2012. Oh, and I'm not doing much writing yet either.

papers, and projects, and finals, oh my!

tis the season to stress (I mean whine) about grading.

checking in

Lots has been going on over here. Feeling a need to catch up.

First, I'm not going to lie, the marathon was disappointing. Not a surprising disappointment given the ups and downs of my training, but disappointing nonetheless. I was hoping I'd feel great. I did, for the first 18 miles. By mile 20, some doubt crept in and I couldn't push it out. My knees were killing me, as were my feet, and I started to lag behind the pacer I was staying with and walk a bit. Thank goodness for a dear friend at 20.5 who ran/walked close to a mile with me, chattering the whole time and boosting my confidence. So thankful for the friends and family between 21-23, which is the hardest part of a marathon for me. Got a second wind and was able to cross the finish going strong. Stopped my garmin running 7:50 pace at the end, and cursed about where that was in 20-22. But it just makes me think I DO have a faster marathon in me. As opposed to last time, I finished thinking, "Ok, when's the next one?" Hungry for more. Took a week off and slowly getting back into it. First run was wretched, but starting to feel better now.

Second, work is kicking my butt. I'm happy with what I'm doing, but having a hard time staying afloat. What else is new? I was observed today for faculty review by the chair of the department. She had lots of lovely things to say afterwards, so taking that as a good sign.

Lastly, things are progressing splendidly with the new boy. We have complicated schedules (he splits custody of his two daughters and with my evening classes and orchestra, our schedule doesn't sync well), so we don't get a ton of time to see each other, but we're making it work. I could share lots, but will narrow to one story. Last week I snuck out of work for a bit to meet him for lunch. He asked about my music background and in the course of the conversation I told him about this piece that I love that I played for my junior recital. When he was over last night, he asked if I had the piano part to the piece. He wants to learn it so we can play together.

Melt my heart.

Since I have gone on a date with a guy who, upon telling him I play violin, actually responded, "Ew. Why?" this was an unbelievable improvement. While I never needed a guy who was a musician himself, I've always looked for a guy who "gets" my commitment and passion for making music and won't complain if he has to occasionally go to a concert of mine. Maybe I've found it? It's still early, but really happy right now.

glass half full? I'm trying.

As another Weekend College term is over, I had my last class this week and no longer teach Monday nights from 6-9:30. This is a good thing, and I am happy about that. Mondays were long days for me, and I was hit with the worst Sunday night blues that I've had since before I started grad school. So it's good not to have that class anymore.

And I will try to stay positive about that even though it means that I now teach on Saturdays. Until the 4th of July. But my Monday nights are free. That's good. Right? Right??

I'm not convinced either.

online class

One of the poorest decisions I've made in recent past was agreeing to teach an online Master's level class this term. I think in another term or next year this wouldn't be bad at all. But on top of teaching three other classes, this course has really become the breaking point. As a first-year, I never should have been asked, but since I was, I felt pressure to do it.

The good thing about the class is that it was already designed when I agreed to "teach" it. The assignments were created, the online discussion boards posted. We ended up with too many enrollees, so I just took an additional section of the course. All I have to do is keep up with the reading myself, and grade and grade and grade.

Which is in fact the worst part. It is so hard to be motivated to grade when I have never met these students, never get to talk about their work, and only give them feedback over email. I have a clear deadline in my syllabus for the turnaround they can expect (their assignments are due midnight Monday, and I will have returned their work by midnight Thursday). But I find myself dreading Wednesday afternoons and nights grading all these papers and assignments. I'm usually done in 8-10 hours, but it is a painful 8-10 hours.

The class is fine. The assignments are great actually, and I think my students are learning a lot. I sure am. But I need to learn more about this online teaching thing, and how to make this work for me when I never meet the students. I think this class could be better, for both me and my students. But I don't know enough about effective teaching online. Something to work on in my spare time.

It's not that bad. I understand this. But grading is my least favorite part of teaching (I know that it is for most teachers), and it is all that I'm doing for this class.

Enough procrastinating. Back to case study essays...

gotta love it

My college students had their first morning out at a school. They had a brief, unsupervised experience in a school last term, but this is their first longer, supervised placement. They were nervous. I was nervous.

It was great. The school is really amazing. Plus, I got my hug quota for the week from random kindergartners in the hallway. Had never met them, but got hugs nonetheless. One said she liked my shoes. I liked her boots more.

And how great was it when half my students came up to me at the end and said, "You know ____ that you taught us? They were doing that this morning!"

Hoping they see even more value in their courses, and that they learn tons out in this super school.

a rose by any other name

I love my name. It is who I am. If I were to ever marry, I wouldn't change it. It's too much a part of me.

That said...

There seems to be difficulty with my name that is tremendously annoying. The fact that I go by Kate instead of my full name is confusing to some. I hated it in college when I would show up to the first day of class and the professor, when calling roll, would automatically shorten my name to Cathy. I am not a Cathy. Not ever. Annoying. That Kate is spelled with a K and Catherine is spelled with a C is yet more confusing.

And then that my last name, which some have as their first name, begins with the same phoneme as my first name means I get called Kelly. Also annoying. I don't understand why this is beyond the grasp of some people, but apparently it is.

But the kicker was this weekend. I received a student email me from one of my classes last year. In a mass email to all her professors from her grad program (a mass email!), she asked if we would be references for her. Let me restate that: in a mass email. I replied and said that it was very unprofessional to send a mass email asking for references, and that since she only took one class from me over a year ago, I wouldn't feel comfortable being a reference for her. She replied back and addressed the email to Kelly, asking again if she could just list me as a reference, not write a letter. I wrote back and said no, and that my name is Kate and I would urge her to be more thoughtful and professional in her email exchanges with potential references and, in turn, job prospects.

Shortly thereafter, I got an email from a guy I'm in the 'open communication' phase with through eHarmony. Unfortunately, my official name on the site is Catherine, which then requires some way of addressing the fact that I go by Kate in the emails. Usually this is taken care of by my signature, but if the guy emails first, I usually explicitly write that I go by a nickname. Anyway, in a reply to my email in which I had signed my name Kate, said guy addressed the email to Kitty. Kitty? Seriously? Where'd you come up with that one? Do you know anyone under the age of 70 that goes by Kitty? Pay attention, dude.

Annoying.

negative nelly

A year ago, I taught a class on middle school reading instruction at the university I'm attending for my PhD. In the class was a woman I spent a great deal of time wondering why in the world she was spending piles of money to attend a program in which she had no interest in learning anything. Every single topic and related discussion was met with, "well, that won't work" or "my students can't do that" or "no one really does that." Even when met with the lived experiences of myself and others in the class, she was steadfast in her opposition. She had nothing positive to say the entire semester about students, teaching, learning, school, education, life. If this was her disposition in her own classroom, I was sad for students in her classes.

I have never been more drained as a teacher trying to acknowledge her and validate her opinions while also presenting the opposing viewpoint. I don't think she felt as though her view was very well respected in the class - many students in the class continually argued with her and though I tried my best to be neutral, it was clear I did not agree with her negativity about absolutely everything we discussed.

I was a little surprised to see her in the class in which I gave a talk yesterday. But there she was, front row, center. And it was as if she followed the script I could have written for the conversation.

Me: So it's really important as a literacy coach to work with the teachers' agendas, rather than pushing your own.

Her: But teachers don't want to change.

Me: Actually in my experience, I haven't found that to be true. Given the right context, I believe and have seen lots of teachers who others may have written off interested in making important shifts in their instruction.

Her: But teachers close to retirement aren't going to make a change. Why should they? They're almost done. I wouldn't.

Me: I worked with a teacher who got her National Board certification in the year she retired. There is no set trajectory for teachers.

Her: Well, I just don't think that's true.

Sigh. This is what it was like for 3.5 hours every week for an entire semester. She is on the very, very limited list of students I was not sorry to see walk out of the classroom on the last day (I hate to admit that such a list exists, but let's be real). It was exhausting trying to be respectful of her opinions to maintain a positive environment for her learning and for the sake of a safe classroom environment. I worked really hard to help her see the possibilities of teaching and learning rather than her incessant need to play devil's advocate and desire to derail the education of the other members of class. I guess I learned a lot from her in that way. And she will not be the last like her I encounter. But once again, I wasn't sad at the end of the class.

exam copies

I have to study for that exam tomorrow.
I'm going to the doctor for an exam.
I have thirty exams to grade this week.

Exam used to be a scary word. It meant cramming and writing and grades (either getting or giving) or an uncomfortable morning in a doctor's office wearing a paper gown and getting poked. Not many enjoy either such situation.

But recently I found out the amazing perk that professors can request examination copies of texts they are currently using or are considering adopting for courses they teach. For free.

Which is good, because with 6 new classes and numerous books that aren't from publishers with that nifty deal, I'm going to be spending a pretty penny on books for the next year.

Good thing I love books.