singles group

After much prodding from my parents, I agreed to give the singles group at my church a shot. I’m taking a break from the 29 dimensions of compatibility, but am still willing to work towards finding a relationship. I hesitate to call it “my church,” as I realized recently that I cannot consider myself a C&E Catholic (Christmas and Easter), since because of my dad’s illness, we didn’t even attend church on Christmas. I’m just an E Catholic, I guess. A sizable donation is deducted from my bank account every month, I just never attend Mass.

I was chatting about this with my cousin on that recent visit. We agreed that we feel guilty about not going to church, though we can’t really pinpoint why we feel guilty. Mostly, we feel as though we should believe in the teachings of the church, but we just don’t. And though my cousin is not drawn to church because of the doctrine, there is something about the power of community that a church can provide that she feels lacking in her life. I agree that the power of community is important, though I get to enjoy that experience through my participation in orchestras. Making music together is my form of prayer and worship.

Ok, so back to the church group. I get the monthly bulletin, and saw that there was a new singles group starting up. I thought I had nothing to lose but a few hours of my life, so I’d give it a whirl.

I walk in to the room listed in the bulletin, and immediately know it was a mistake. I sat down in the circle of chairs set up and take stock in the other participants. One woman looks as though she hasn’t showered in weeks, and is talking about her cat to the organizer. A man sits next to me and when I attempt to engage in conversation, he just grunts at me. Another woman sitting by herself is chewing her hair and picking at her cuticles. I wish this was an exaggeration. I look around to make sure I hadn’t wandered in to a group therapy session by mistake, but the sheet on the door clearly marks this as the group I had intended to join. Fifteen silent minutes later, a few more stragglers join the circle. I am at least 15 years the junior of everyone else in attendance. The organizer points out the snacks in the back and invites folks to grab treats throughout the evening. I take that as my cue, and grabbing a cookie, I head for the door.

It may be that this would have been an enjoyable evening, if I had just given it a chance. I doubt it.