disappointed

The look on my sister's face as I was headed to the finish line said it all. I had last seen her at mile 10, just before I bonked. She knew I had slowed down a lot and would be frustrated with my finish. It was a painful look to see reflected back at me, but was perfectly accurate for what I was feeling. 5 minutes to non-runners may not seem like much, but it's a huge amount of time when you're trying to beat a past PR. I started with the 8:24 pacer, but he ended up running closer to 8:10s, which is too fast for me, and made me a little crabby. If you want to run 8:10s, don't be the 8:24 pacer. I ran two miles with that group, hoping things would even out, but when the times didn't slow, down, I fell back to running 8:25s, my goal pace. 8:10s are not too too fast for me to run a couple miles, but I didn't think it was quite sustainable for a half. Things were moving along just fine. I got to mile 9 and thought, '4 miles? I got this.' Silly me.

Shortly after I past 10.5, I just died. My legs felt like big, brick chimneys, my breathing was all off. I was suddenly worried not about making my goal time but rather finishing at all. I walked through a water stop - the first time I've ever walked at all during a race. And that was the kiss of death. I did get going again after the water, but could only do a slow run/walk from miles 11.5-12.5. I was in a passing / passed by dance with a woman who was also struggling with finishing. At the same time we looked at each other and said, 'let's get through this together.' Her name was Megan, and I took it as a good sign. We indeed finished the last half mile running up a hill that normally barely phases me but felt like Kilimanjaro yesterday.

So I finished 5 minutes slower than my goal time. It could have been worse, yes. In the grand scheme of the world I recognize this is not a big deal. But it has never happened to me before, and it has me a little baffled. I'm in better shape than the last time I ran a half marathon, and I ended up 30 seconds slower. I trained hard, but not outrageously so. I tapered. I ate well last week, and got enough sleep. One bad run does not mean I'm destined to race poorly from now on. But I don't know what to do differently so it doesn't happen again. Yes, it was humid, and perhaps my body wasn't ready for a long run in that heat. Lots of folks were collapsing on the route. But I hydrated more than I normally do, before and during the run.

A little worried. But I'll be back at it after a few days off.