I have this recurring dream that tends to come back around when I'm particularly stressed. Unlike most people, my stress dreams do not involve school. Well, I have one where I show up late to Spanish and the teacher throws a desk at me, but that actually happened to someone in my high school graduating class, so it's more like PTSD than the usual forgot my locker combo or schedule or can't find my class dreams that most people have.
Anyway, in my stress dream, I have taken up smoking. I start with buying one pack, hide the habit from friends and family, and mostly just smoke in my car. In the dream, every inhale soothes and calms me, and a relief washes over me immediately upon lighting up.
This dream has been so vivid in times past that I've actually checked my glove compartment to make sure there aren't any cigarettes there.
I have never been a smoker. I took one puff in college and promptly threw up for the next two hours. Second-hand smoke burns my eyes, makes my throat hurt, and gives me a headache. I have never wanted to be a smoker and will never become one. Which is why I hate this dream. I would love something easy like that to be able to do to de-stress, and clearly that is what my mind and body want too.
But I'll stick with deep, clean breaths instead.
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